Depression After Age Of 35

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Q: Respond to LOUDLY ticking biological clock now, or fix marriage first? Read Details before you respond.?
I’m 34 years old and my 31-year-old husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 21 months. I have a sister who was diagnosed with early menopause at the age of 33, and although tests up to this point do not show that I’m having the same issues she was, I’ve still never been pregnant and the age of 35 is looming. I desperately want to be a mother and would love to be able to have two children eventually myself.

My husband & I have been married for a little over 2 years, and things have been rocky since the beginning. I’m worried I settled for less than what I deserve because of being in a rush to get married and have a family. I do not feel we got married too fast (together a year and a half before getting engaged and were engaged for almost a year before getting married), but I did give him something of an ultimatum regarding marriage and now I know that wasn’t the right thing to do. He’s and only child and fiercely independent – an introverted pessimist. I’m close to my sisters and mother and consider myself an extrovert who is at least a “wanabe” optimist. Our main issue is his lack of affection and intimacy (emotional and physical). I feel my level of need for affection of all types are normal and his are very, very low. My needs have never been truly met in these areas (even before marriage). He has a low sex drive for a 31-year-old man, and I’m sure some of that is due to depression. He has a terrible health insurance plan right now, so sending him to the doctor has to wait until January when he can be on my plan. We recently started couples counseling (only two sessions so far) – we should have done it long ago.

I feel very strongly about continuing to try to have a baby during this process. I am NOT delusional about thinking a baby will help the marriage. I AM fully accepting of the fact we may still split even after a baby comes, and I’m ok with that. This man will probably make a very good father and ex-husband – he’s just not good at being a husband. I’d prefer things to work out between us if he is willing to change. I do still love him but have been growing more bitter and resentful – not only because I am often starved for physical touch, but because it’s hard to get pregnant when you don’t have enough sex – and I slowly see each new cycle slipping by…

Sorry, but I really don’t want to hear from God-loving Christians about how a baby is meant to be only in a family of two loving parents. If my marriage ends and I don’t meet someone else soon after (however long that is), I’ll very likely be having a baby on my own. I’m also not afraid of divorcing after having a baby – it will be a baby that will be SO LOVED and well taken care of by its entire family no matter what happens with the his/her parents. I’m perfectly ok with being a single mother by choice.

New can of worms – IF I put trying to conceive on hold for a few months to work on our marriage differences… A) How long do I put it on hold? And more importantly – B) What if my husband isn’t willing to go as far as I am to conceive? I already know I would do whatever I have to do up to and including at least one cycle of IVF if necessary… he’s already made it clear, although not in so many words, that he’d rather jump to adoption before trying much of anything medical/scientific. That’s a deal-breaker if we’re not more on the same page with that. I could put all the “trying” on hold, have our marriage improve some, come right back to this disagreement – and then end up leaving anyway… several more months behind than I would have been had I just left in the first place. The bottom line, I really don’t feel like I have much TIME to put this on hold!
Sorry it was a “novel” – and THANK YOU to the select few of you (unfortunately and surprisingly few) who actually seem to understand where I’m coming from (I’m not trying to save a marriage with a baby). I do care about my husband and his happiness. We did talk before we were married about having children in the future, but unfortunately, no one plans on facing fertility issues.

A: Congratulations, you are one of the most selfish self-obsessed sociopaths I have ever read on this site!! (and that’s saying something)

You have NO BUSINESS being in any relationships or trying to have children that you’ll no doubt damage since they can never replace yourself as the center of your universe. Stop wrecking lives and get help for your mental health issues before it’s too late.

Q: 15 yrs ago I stopped reading books?
From the Age of 7 to 35 I read a lot of books,usally novels mostly adventure and Sci Fi.15 yrs ago I quit completely I lost interest I had a hard time focusing.This was after extensive treatment for Alcohol use,Depression and anxiety.Now I am seeking an Adult ADD evaluation.Is the lost of interest in reading pertinent?

A: Yes it could be. I would definitely mention it to your doctor during your evaluation. Most people with ADD have a hard time sitting down and concentrating long enough to read a book. It is actually one of the signs to look for.

Q: Can my Mum claim Carer’s Allowance for me whilst I claim Income Support?
Hi there,

I claim Incapacity Benefit, Disability Living Allowance at High Rate CARE and Low Rate Mobility, Income Support along side the Disability Premium, Severe Disability Premium and Enhanced Disability Premium, Housing Benefit and Council Tax Exemption as they class me as ‘Mentally Impaired’ as I have been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.

My Mum works for the local Council and is being made redundant soon. She has been offered around £13,000 in pay out but she won’t be keeping this herself as she wants to pay off large Credit Card debts with it.

My Mum is my Full Time Carer and provides more than 35 hours of care for me a week as stated is required by Carer’s Allowance. I am wondering if my Mum can claim Income Support as a Carer along side Carer’s Allowance and the Carer’s Premium. If so, will I just lose the Severe Disability Premium and still get SOME Income Support (this is what I have been advised by an Income Support assistant at the Job Centre on one of their 0845 numbers) or will I lose ALL of my Income Support and Premiums?

Me and my Mum don’t live together. As far as I was aware and have been advised in the past, I cannot claim Income Support and any of the Disability Premiums IF somebody else is claiming Carer’s Allowance on my behalf.

Also, I have been told that Carer’s Allowance affects Income Support. If my Mum were to claim these two Benefits then in which way would it affect her? How much Income Support would she be entitled to on top of the Carer’s Allowance after the Income Support had been reduced? And would she get the Carer’s Premium? Would the Carer’s Premium affect her Income Support?

Can anybody tell me what current rates are for Income Support, Carer’s Allowance and the Carer’s Premium? I thought that Job Seeker’s Allowance and Income Support qualified you for the Carer’s Premium.

Please don’t go flaming me or my Mum or calling us ‘Scroungers’. I have had Schizophrenia since age 13 after having a traumatic childhood from an abusive Father and being molested by a family friend. I still managed to do some work when I left School until I became incapable of working after I tried to stab several people after hearing voices telling me to do so and getting arrested for standing in Town Centre and shouting for people to come and join in a revolt against God and rise up in Satan’s Army. I was advised by my Psychiatrist that I was too ill to work as I was a danger to myself and others. I am 24. My Mum has worked since age 16. She is 52. She has taken on 3 or even 4 jobs to try and bring me up as a single parent after leaving a life of domestic violence. Now after 24 years of loyal service at the Council as a Senior Citizens Warden she is being axed.

I am in the U.K and this is a U.K question and although I thank all who try to give genuine answers I would appreciate you please NOT telling me OR my Mum can claim SSD as I am NOT in America.

Please: Genuine answers ONLY. Please DON’T be rude to me or think you are being clever as you’ll just show yourself up to be an idiot.

On a last note. I am not a ‘Scrounger’. I would give anything to be well enough to go back to work. Lead a normal life. Have kids. Get married. Although it is probable that given my history that if I did have a child it would be taken away from me. How do you suppose that makes me feel? My Mum is not a ‘Scrounger’. She has worked bloody hard. Paid her taxes. Now when she needs the system the most she has to have something to rely on. It is only temporary may I add as she studied to become a Counsellor so will be looking for a job as one but in our sorry state of Economic Depression it is unlikely she will succeed in finding a job immediately.

Many thanks in advance.

Linzi. x

A: EDIT>>> Good I am glad to see that VILE answer has been removed. Sorry to original poster, the rant wasn’t at you!

@Mary H, YOU are disgusting!

I DOUBT very much anyone wants to have a mental health disorder just to claim benefits!

TELL THAT to your own child when he or she is suffering! So I suppose autistic children with no bowl control ASK to be scroungers to they?????

YOU have been reported!

YOU are a disgusting human being!

Anyway to the asker, the other two answers have been helpful, BUT JAN says that one benefit will be cancelled out. THIS is NOT the case.

Carers allowance is NOT taken out of DLA or incapacity!!!!

WHAT happens is this: SOME means tested benefits are affected, so in my case, myself and partner jointly claim income support, BUT MY carers allowance is NOT affected. I get the full £53.90 a week, however, SOME of our income support is lowered by about £10 a week.

By claiming all the benefits we are allowed to, we are still better off than not claiming at all.

Carers allowance is not automatically completely cancelled out, it’s just *Some* money from other benefits may be deducted but it very much depends on the INDIVIDUEL case!

It is ALWAYS worth claiming! Just because some money *may* be lost doesn’t mean you shouldn’t claim or even try!

SOME extra money is better than none!!!

(DLA is not means tested by the way)

Your mum should be able to claim income support and carers allowance (I do)

Q: All these medicines, and now I’m just not sure?
To start off, I’m a 15 year old female.
At the age of 12, I told my mom I was cutting myself and went to a psychiatrist and a therapist. They told me I had depression, and prescribed me Zoloft. A few months later, 6 maybe, after not being satisfied with the therapy, my mom decided to just switch both my psychiatrist and therapist. The new psychiatrist switched me to Lexapro (I don’t know why, but a therapist I had later knew him and said he likes things his way). Both the psych and therapist were awful, I hated them. So I switched again to a new psychiatrist, who took me off of Lexapro and put me on Symbyax because the Lexapro wasn’t working. And a new therapist, some weird, creepy hippy guy who I didn’t like at all. After gaining over 35 lbs in 6 months on the Symbyax, the psych and I were getting worried so we decided to take me off Symbyax and put me on Prozac. By then, I was 13, almost 14 years old. The Prozac sent me completely over the edge and I attempted suicide at the age of 13. This is where my first question comes in. Did anybody else feel suicidal after taking Prozac?
At the hospital, they just gave me Symbyax again. After I got out, the psychiatrist told me she was quitting her practice and I was to see a new psychiatrist. The new one took me BACK OFF the Symbyax and put me on Prozac AGAIN, this time in the morning while taking a new medicine, Seroquel at night. I’m 15 years old now and that is what I am still taking, and have been for almost a year, with that same psychiatrist. I’m on 150 mg of Seroquel right now at night, which at first made me super tired. Now I’m starting to build an immunity to it, I think. In a week I have another psychiatrist appointment and they are probably going to switch my medicine again. Greatt..so another question: Does anyone recommend a specific medicine for depression I try next?

Thanks guys…

A: I’m so sorry to hear about your condition. I have many close friends and family who are depressed and they say Elavil (Amitriptyline) helps a lot. It’s a tricyclic antidepressant. Ask your Dr. About that.

Hope all goes well for you.

Q: Worried I might have Asperger’s, but not sure that it isn’t something else?
Recently I have been preoccupied with a remark made to me by a psychiatrist two years ago (you know, the hack shrink of the “How does that make you feel?” school of psychiatry.) He accused me of “having” Asperger Syndrome (a diagnosis du jour, of course) for rather flimsy reasons, such as that I am quite shy, reserved, introverted, intelligent, highly self-critical and have low self-esteem, and of course, not to mention the big red flag – 22 and never had a relationship. I was never part of the in-crowd growing up, though I always did have at least a couple of friends. Like many mildly geeky people, I am quite smart but a bit socially naive and immature, young looking for my age which is probably related somehow. I don’t think I have any clinical level of deficit in social skills, I have always been able to make friends though it is not my strong suit and I usually just keep a couple of close friends. I always knew how to spontaneously play as a child, and never was shunned for being weird or have “one-person birthday parties” as I hear Asperger’s people often do as children. I was never especially egocentric or had trouble empathizing with others. I do not, and have never, lectured people on any of my hobbies and readily realize when someone is bored – I am very self-conscious and tend to interpret people as being derogatory toward me, far from the cluelessness of Asperger’s. I don’t think any of my solitary pursuits are abnormal in intensity or focus. I have no “symptoms” of Asperger’s beyond these social issues, such as sensory sensitivity or stimming. I kind of have a rigid personality and see things as all or nothing, which may or may not be significant.

When my mom heard the psychiatrist’s “opinion”, she vehemently disagreed and got him to back off (my mom is a social worker who works with children, so she knows what real Asperger’s is.) There was never any formal, extensive diagnosis like what I’ve read about, only an “armchair diagnosis” after a few 35-40 minute sessions in which he would nod his head, almost doze off, and write a prescription and $200 bill at the end. I was seeing him for depression and feeling in a rut, and when my mom called him one time and told him that my father had committed suicide many years ago (though she had never told me at the time, trying to shield me), the shrink blew this piece of information off, which makes me think he was a quack. I also think that growing up in a single-parent household in an upper-middle class suburban community also added to my sense of alienation from my peers.

So my question is – who should I trust, my mom, who knows me well and knows what Asperger’s is, or the psychiatrist who sounds like he was just lobbing a popular label at me for being a shy, insecure, somewhat naive introvert? My biggest fear at this point in my life (I’m 25) and reason I’m so worried about potentially having this disorder is that I am terrified that I will never find a girlfriend. I have only dated casually twice and both times blown off into the “friend zone” – the last time I got to the third date, made a move, and that was it. I’m not so sure it was that I misinterpreted her cues but rather I chose to act on mixed signals because I was so desperate. I honestly never even found her attractive, I kind of had an “open door” policy for anyone who would take me. I remember telling my mom that I didn’t really get a strong feeling that she was serious about this, and I went against my gut and got it wrong.

I think people perceive me as an insecure wuss more than the unintentionally rude and inappropriate weirdo that Asperger’s people often come across as. I don’t think I’m so much oblivious to nonverbal cues and body language so much as I totally lack confidence in myself. I am in a rut and can’t really figure a way out. I may not be super socially skilled, but I am not socially inept either, just very shy and introverted.

Also, for what it’s worth, my personality type is INFJ on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and I have read that males with Asperger’s typically test as INTJ. If I had to pick a disorder out of the DSM-IV that seems to fit me, it would probably be Avoidant Personality Disorder, which I have read is not uncommon in people with my personality type. It’s not so much that I’m oblivious to social rules and rituals but that my social skills might be a bit behind due to my withdrawing and timid nature…I never got a chance to learn them like everyone else. It’s more that I tend to overanalyze my interactions with people rather than cluelessly committing faux pas. I think my father was probably similarly tortured by these fears, and based on something my mother said he seemed to be somewhat insecure with initiating intimate relationships as well.

A: Maybe you are autistic. This can nobody here answer correctly.

I’ve here an online-test with abput 150 questions:

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Many people don’t know that they have Aspergers, because the scientist didn’t accept it until the 1990s.

Here ist a community:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html
I don’t know muc habout this platform, but maybe the people there can help you.
If you are going to sign in there, it will be nice, when you can give me a feedbackof this community. I’m from Austria and so I only use communities in german language.

Q: accuracy of RPR test?
Is the accuracy of the RPR test still accurate 10-14 years after suspected contraction of syphilis? Had what I thought was an ingrown hair on my inside upper thigh. It went away in a week or two. Then later had a rash on the palms of both hands that I thought was a reaction to a floor cleaner. Don’t think I had that too long either, maybe less than a week. No other symptoms that I know of. 10-14 years later had an RPR card test in the hospital. Do not know the results but I was in for depression for 18 days and the records do not show any treatment with penicillin so I assume it was negative.

Fast forward to today, 24 years after the RPR test. (35-40 years after suspected incident). Have had a rash on my right torso which my doctor visually called herpes. Could be shingles. No blisters just a rash. (P.S.-Have been married and monogamous for 27 years.) The rash itches and lasts for about four weeks at a time. Over the past three years the rash has gotten to be less. Also,starting ten years ago I have had spastic colin for a couple of years, hives for two years, tinnitus, hemorhoids, aching knees (probably all old age). Anyway—should I be concerned and get another RPR test? Would it actually be correct after all these years if it was negative?

Sure would like an answer since this is worrying me some. Boy–sometimes the mistakes of the past do haunt you.

Thanks.

A: Ok, from what I can find online, RPR can have a 20% false negative rate for primary syphilis. All in all it’s not really a good screening test since it has a high false positive rate with plenty of other diseases like Epstein-Barr (mono), hepatitis, varicella, measles, lymphoma, tuberculosis, malaria, endocarditis, connective tissue disease, pregnancy.

Normally, if positive, the RPR result is confirmed by the FTA-ABS test. However when patients have negative test there’s no second test to confirm.

Back to your symptoms, normally you would have had plenty of other issues by now if you were really positive the first time. Take a look at a few of the pictures in that first article down below. So the take home point is that probably dont’ have syphilis. If you’re really paranoid have your primary care doc run a FTA-ABS. Otherwise, don’t worry about it.

I’ve attached articles below if you’d like to know more. I hope this helps.

Q: Am I killing my self respect by choseing to remain in a relationship with a possible Pathological liar?
I AM A 35 YR O GENTLEMAN AND I HAVE BEEN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR 5&HALF YRS. IN 2003, SHE HAD AN AFFAIR WHILE I DID 4 MONTH’S IN LOCK UP FOR A CHARGE THAT WAS ORIG. FOR HER! BEING THE MAN I AM AND THINKING HOW HER CHILDREN NEEDED HER AT HOME, I LIED TO THE JUDGE BY TESTIFING THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED TO BE CHARGED…YEA, I TOOK A CHARGE FOR HER, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN A BULLET FOR HER AS I LOVED HER VERY DEEPLY (IT WAS A MONTH BEFOR OUR 2 YR ANNIV, AND JUST 3 MONTHS AFTER I MADE HER THE VERY FIRST FEMALE TO SHARE W/ VIVID DETAIL , THE RAPES AND ABUSES DONE TO ME FROM AGE 7 TO AGE 10 BY MY MOTHERS B/F, NOT EVEN MY MOM & DAD KNEW ABOUT THIS. ANYWAY….I HAVE SPENT 3.5 YRS TRYING TO HEAL FROM THIS. BEING A COMPASSIONATE MAN AND FOLLOWING MY HEART, I DID NOT BREAK-UP BECAUSE SHE WAS SO VISUALY UPSET WITH HERSELF AND NEEDED INPATIENT THERAPY, LOVING SOMEONE LIKE THAT AND NOT WANTING TO SEE HER GO THROUGH THAT BY HERSELF, I CHOSE FORGIVENESS AND PROMISED TO TRY TO NOT GET UPSET AND USE IT AGAINST HER. I DID NOT CHEAT ON HER….EVER. WELL SHE HAS MADE A VALIENT EFFORT TO ENSURE THAT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO TRUST. YOU WOULD THINK THAT SHE WOULD DO EVERY AND ANY THING TO MAKE ME FEEL SECURE. SOME DAYS R GOOD, SOME DAYS ARE BAD. SHE REFUSES TO TREAT ME THE WAY I WANT 2 BE TREATED AS SHE LIES ABOUT ANYTHING, DOESNT RESPECT MY WISH’S, OR TAKE MY ADVICE, SUCH AS……….NOW YOU YOUNGER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE, PLEASE LISTEN, SAVE YOURSELF FROM EMOTIONAL PAIN, OR CHRONIC DEPRESSION, OR A TRULLY BROKEN HEART…..IF YOU ARE BLESSED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH THAT “LOOK” IN THERE EYE AND YOU FEEL YOU WANT TO SHARE A LIFE TOGETHER..DO JUST THAT!!!!…….SHARE & COMMIT TO 3 THINGS. 1. UNLESS YOU BOTH AGREE TO SOMETHING ELSE, DO NOT CHEAT!!! 2. DO NOT LIE!!! AND 3. COMMUNCATE AND SHARE WITH EACH OTHER!!!….#3 IS POSSIBLY THE MOST IMPORTANT, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMMUNICATION, UNTIL ITS TO LATE, MEANING THAT THERE COULD BE RESENTMENTS ALREADY PLANTED IN THE MIND WAITING FOR ITS MANY DIVERSE SPROUTS OF PRIDE, IRRATTIONAL THINKING, REVENGE AND MORE!! NOW THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THERE WONT BE TIMES AWAY FROM YOUR “FAIRY TALE”, BUT IF YOU BOTH COMMIT TO THESE THINGS WITH CONSISTENCY AND REALIZE WE ALL HAVE PRIDE AND HABITS, AND THAT WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF PAITIENCE AND CHANGE, I PROMISE YOU THAT, WHAT YOU MAY HAVE CALLED FIGHTING IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. YOU WILL NOW KNOW IT AS RATIONAL PROBLEM SOLVING THAT, IN TIME WILL SHOW YOU A QUALITY OF LIFE THAT WILL INTRODUCE YOU TO TRUE FRIENDSHIP, WHAT IT MEANS TO CARE, AND POSSIBLY YOUR FIRST LOVE.
UNFORTUNATLY DECEIT WAS PERMITTED TO BREECH MY RELATIONSHIP, AND IT WAS NOT DEALT WITH PROPERLY. ITS NOT A TOTAL LOSE THOUGH AS I HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT MYSELF IN THE LAST 5.5 YRS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN I EVER HAD BEING INVOLVED IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS. I CAN SAY TODAY THAT I AM HONEST AND REALIZE HOW DISHONEST I WAS B4. I HAVE COME TO KNOW THE TRUE VALUE OF COMMPASSION, AND HAVE MOST CERTAINLY RECEIVED A MASTERS IN PAITIENCE AS I HAVE EXPRESSED TO MY GIRLFRIEND HOW MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HER FEEL THE WAY I DO. HER CHOICE TO STILL BE DISHONEST SOMETIMES IS MET WITH MIXED EMOTIONS ON MY PART. I KNOW SHE IS TRYING BUT ITS STILL HER FEAR OF ME VIEWING HER AS A FAILURE THAT ELICITS HER CONDITIONED RESPONSE, TO LIE OR TO GIVE ME PARTIAL TRUTHS, THAT I VIEW AS HER EFFORTS TO MINIMIZIE THE HURT. I HAVE TOLD HER SO MANY TIMES I WOULD RATHER BE HURT WITH THE TRUTH THAN TO BE PLEASED WITH A LIE. I KNOW SHE HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP, BUT ITS IDENTIFYING HER LIMITATIONS SHE HAS PROBLEMS WITH.
I HAVE EXPRESSED FEAR THAT SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME, OF JUST BEING HER FOOL, BUT IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. WE ARE VERY CLOSE AND I DO CONSIDER HER MY FIRST LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND. I MEANT TO PAINT A PICTURE OF A PERSONALITY THAT IS NEVER SHOWN WHEN INTIMANT WITH ME. HER LIES (95% OF THE TIME) ARE OF ISSUES THAT WOULD NEVER BE A SINGLE CAUSE FOR SPLITTING UP. TO ME, IT IS A COMPULSION TO NOT LETTING ME DOWN BY REVELATION OF HER INIQUITIES.
TO HER ALIANCE I HAVE RESEARCHED A POSSIBILITY THAT THERE MAY BE A PATHOLOGICAL CONDITION THAT COULD RENDER LITTLE CONTROL OF HER RESPONSE STEMMING FROM AN AUTO ACCIDENT IN HER ADOLESCENCE IN WHICH SHE SUSTAINED MASSIVE HEAD TRAUMA, LEAVING HER IN A COMA AND ALMOST KILLING HER. IM OPTOMISTIC THAT WE CAN FIND HELP, BUT I AM NOT NIEVE TO MY BEING IN DENIAL AND SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BAREL FOR EXCUSES TO CONTINUE ALOWING THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE TO BE COMPROMISED BY SOMEONE WHO MAY BE AFRAID TO TELL ME GOOD-BYE. REMEMBER, HER M.O. WAS ALWAYS TO NOT HURT ME, SO SAYING GOOD-BYE MAY BE THE UNTOLD TRUTH.
SAYING GOOD-BYE TO THE ONLY WOMAN IVE LOVED IN AN EFFORT TO RAISE MY QUALITY OF LIFE, NOT OUT OF ANGER, NOT BECAUSE I LOST PAITIENCE, BUT SO THAT IN LETTING GO, I CAN KNOW THAT RESENTMENTS OVER THIS WILL NEVER REPLACE THE WONDERFUL FEELING OF AN UNBROKEN LOVE…THAT IS KEPT IN MY HEART!!!!

WITH THE CHAOS IN OUR WORLD TODAY……..ITS REALLY NICE WHEN YOU CAN CURL UP NEXT TO THE PERSON YOU’LL NEVER FORGET.

GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU

“LIFE AINT ALWAYS BEAUTIFULL…………………..

…………….BUT IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL RIDE”
-GARY ALLEN-

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO RESPOND WITH ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS TO MNM01312002@YAHOO.COM

A: Maybe look at it this way: When you are on your deathbed, do you really want to look back on your life knowing you unnecessarily put up with this stress? Whose life are you trying to live? Yours or hers? All the advice you plunk down on her is probably exactly the advice you need to be following. Love, respect, and honor yourself first because you are the only one you have to answer to in the end. Putting up with behavior that doesn’t make you happy is disrespecting yourself. Loving a person and permitting them to be as sh*tty as they can be with you are two different things entirely.

When I draw the line with how people treat me and demand respect and consideration out of them or otherwise they don’t get my time, that shows that I would do the same for them.

You are cheating, lying, and not communicating with yourself when your deny your emotions that are going haywire and you do nothing to draw the line with how others treat you in your presence.

This relationship doesn’t make you a noble or virtuous person. You cannot shoulder another person’s imperfections and call that love for either her or yourself.

Q: What do you think about Sylvia Browne’s 40 predictions for the next 100 years?
1. Eradication of cancer as we know it, using sound waves, photo sensitive drug therapy, and “self-addicting” cells.
2. Robotic houses, controlled by computerized switchboard.
3. Electrical cars with flotation ability for water travel to bypass freeways.
4. Houses made from pressed paper with plastic coatings; interchangeable walls
5. Separate body parts cloned for organ transplants; not an entire body.
6. New form of painless tooth extraction, using a type of suction, with immediate replacement of new tooth.
7. Diagnostic chambers which map the body’s electrical balance to predict health problems before the come.
8. Cylindrical rooms in which people enter to see an automated projection of the clothing and color that would look good on them; select what you want, take your measurements, then two days later pick up the goods.
9. Third floor of houses have rollback roofs to allow Hovercrafts to come and go.
10. No more surgery with knives. Some type of molecular ionization device that knows how to take out the afflicted cells then seal the wound without a single scar.
11. Remolding of the whole face structure, to duplicate any look that you wish.
12. New exercise equipment that you sit or stand in, and it literally stimulates your muscles with electricity to achieve the same effect as physical exercise.
13. Babies will be birthed in water all the time, with music, incense, and green and lavender lights.
14. People will be able to simply “walk out” of their bodies upon death.
15. There will be no US Presidency; our government will go back to a Greek Senate structure.
16. No longer a single Pope, but a triumvirate of Popes, each assigned to a geographic collection of Catholics.
17. Peace in the Middle East will prevail by 2050.
18. West Coast goes under in 2026. Parts of the East Coast also get inundated. Tsunamis will wipe out a large portion of Japan. The Hawaiian Islands will have upheaval and be the site of a large new landmass.
19. Atlantis will begin to show itself by 2023 and be fully visible by 2026.
20. After 2050, the “Age of the Messiah” is upon us. People turn totally toward Spirituality, peace will rein for a long time. People will return to community living, loving each other, and working together.
21. Treatment for depression and mood disorders will come from a “control chamber” that emits sensory stimulation gently to the brain, including certain smells, which will elevate mood.
22. Medicine in pill form goes away; instead we have air-injected delivery through the skin.
23. Atomic batteries will run cars.
24. No more gas propelled rockets in space; we will have nuclear powered cylinder shaped objects that travel everywhere.
25. A moon base is created for people to visit, and as a stopping place for further trips.
26. By 2055 most people will live in domed cities due to poor atmospheric conditions.
27. A virtual reality headset will stimulate brain waves so people can learn whole libraries of information within hours.
28. Giant fruits and vegetables will be grown in hothouse environments. The nutrients will be synthesized into a highly condensed injection.
29. Proteins are developed without animal meat, very powerful, builds immune system.
30. Addictions will be a thing of the past because of a brain stimulation, which eradicates all addictions, with no side effects.
31. Execution for the death penalty will become a complete vaporization of the body.
32. No separate governments, one planetary government will form.
33. Great earth changes will occur and germ warfare will be used before the world finds peace. But eventually from all of the bad comes good. The pendulum will swing back to humanity and love.
34. No world war is coming, but lots of civil disorder and small skirmishes. No nuclear holocaust.
35. Peace will last from 2050 until 2100, and then I see nothing beyond, which could mean “the end will come like a thief in the night.”
36. Toward the end of things, the veil separating our world from The Other Side will thin, so much so that most people will see decease loved ones and speak with their Spirit Guides.
37. There will be many false prophets that rise up proclaiming to be Jesus on Earth, and try to lead people astray. We are already seeing this in the big rise of occultism.
38. People will again find Spirituality, not so much in organized religion, but in the spiritual brotherhood of coming together and finding their Temple within.
39. Four more comets will pass by before the end times.
40. Aliens will begin to show themselves in the year 2010, they will not harm us, they simply want to see what we are doing to this planet. They will teach us how to use anti-gravity devices again, such as they did for the pyramids.

A: She’s a fraud.

And I doubt we will have all that in 100 years. People in the 1900’s thought we would be able to time travel and have flying cars by 2000

Q: depressed.. Is this as good as it gets?
Im 35. Ive suffered with depression now for the last year and a half. I take positive steps, and keep my life on track, but its a constant battle with my feelings, I never want to do anything, I don’t feel proactive.
I left the religion of my parents a couple of years ago, and my family have ostracised me. I’m a lone parent of two boys, 11 and 14, divorced, a teacher, but I havent worked for a year, and now I feel more like a hermit. leaving the house has become an effort, I am quite insular, I was always a fun, outgoing, loving person, and now I feel constanly sad, desperate, heartbroken. I crave some normality. I’m an intelligent person, I know all the right things to do, and even though I keep making positive steps, I feel helpless. – I would never knock anyone who said they felt depressed after having suffered like this I know that even if you battle, your feelings are still hard to push away.
Im divorced, from a marriage at a young age – in the religion – Im lonely, I want to be with someone, – but I wont settle for anyone, I’m a good, funloving attractive person with a lot to offer, but I feel like I am wasting away …
I forgot to mention no, I avoid medication or anything that takes away my ability to feel, having tried it and it making me worse… yes I do hide inside as well – i joined ju jitsu – I constantly arrange things but spend much time trying to back track, avoid or get out of them x

A: I used to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I left three and a half years ago. I lost everyone I had ever known my entire life. It was terrible. I miss these people all the time. My relationship with my only family, my mother, has suffered very much. On top of that, losing my belief system and faith in god was like grieving a death. Don’t underestimate the role that your faith and/or religion played in your life. Now you must find your own way and you might be feeling so lost and confused about what the point of it all is. I understand… I know its a terrible feeling. We have one life and its just a shame that the relationships we have with people we love have to die because of religion. And the hope we used to have for a better time (maybe an afterlife) is now nonexistent or called into question. Then what is right and wrong is questioned. Then your very purpose is questioned. Then when you have kids its hard to keep giving and giving when you feel empty… it’s so hard and painful. I, too, have good qualities but there is something missing. The religion took so much of my life and time that I had to develop as a person. It’s a long, hard road. It has become easier; but it’s a journey. You have to find who you are and what you believe and what you want outside of what a religion tells you you want and who you must be. It’s a SHOCK to our systems when this happens in adulthood. It WILL get better. This is pain you have to walk through. I strongly suggest counseling for any personal issues that you need to talk about and face, and maybe even specialized counseling for people who have left cults or religions that exerted a great amount of control over you life. I feel ya!

Q: What will you racist do about this?? When you guys are the minorities?(I’m not trying to be racist)?
The nation’s Hispanic and Asian populations would triple over the next half century and non-Hispanic whites would represent about one-half of the total population by 2050, according to interim population projections released today by the U.S. Census Bureau.

Overall, the country’s population would continue to grow, increasing from 282.1 million in 2000 to 419.9 million in 2050. However, after 2030 the rate of increase might be the slowest since the Great Depression of the 1930s as the size of the “baby boom” population continues to decline.

Still, the nation’s projected 49 percent population increase during the next 50 years would be in sharp contrast to most European countries, whose populations are expected to decline by mid-century.

(Statements on race groups in this news release are limited to the single-race white, black, and Asian populations and do not cover other single-race groups or the population of two or more races.) The federal government treats Hispanic origin and race as distinct concepts. (See U.S. Census Bureau Guidance on the Presentation and Comparison of Race and Hispanic Origin Data.)

From 2000 to 2050, the non-Hispanic, white population would increase from 195.7 million to 210.3 million, an increase of 14.6 million or 7 percent. This group is projected to actually lose population in the 2040s and would comprise just 50.1 percent of the total population in 2050, compared with 69.4 percent in 2000. (See Table 1 [Excel].)

Nearly 67 million people of Hispanic origin (who may be of any race) would be added to the nation’s population between 2000 and 2050. Their numbers are projected to grow from 35.6 million to 102.6 million, an increase of 188 percent. Their share of the nation’s population would nearly double, from 12.6 percent to 24.4 percent.

The Asian population is projected to grow 213 percent, from 10.7 million to 33.4 million. Their share of the nation’s population would double, from 3.8 percent to 8 percent.

The black population is projected to rise from 35.8 million to 61.4 million in 2050, an increase of about 26 million or 71 percent. That would raise their share of the country’s population from 12.7 percent to 14.6 percent.

The country’s population also is expected to become older. Childbearing rates are expected to remain low while baby-boomers — people born between 1946 and 1964 — begin to turn 65 in 2011. By 2030, about 1-in-5 people would be 65 or over.

The female population is projected to continue to outnumber the male population, going from a numerical difference of 5.3 million in 2000 (143.7 million females and 138.4 million males) to 6.9 million (213.4 million females and 206.5 million males) by mid-century. (See Table 2 [Excel].)

The projections for the resident population of the United States are by age, sex, race (including the categories white, black, Asian and “all other races”) and Hispanic origin. They are based on Census 2000 results and assumptions about future childbearing, mortality and international migration.

-X-
First of all I was’nt being ignorant. Most of the racist on YAHOO ANSWERS say they are white … that’s why I was asking them I KNOW EVERY RACE HAS RACIST. So Lilian before you start to call people out get the full information thankyou. =]

A: White people arent the only racists. You are pretty ignorant to think that. Can you shorten up your question please??

Q: Witnessed my abused mother suffer some kind of strange falling sickness and dementia, help identifying?
When I was 10 years old my mother was very ill, and had been suffering from Wilson’s Disease, osteo-arthiritis, skin and bowel cancer, a form of parkinsons, a chronicly low immunity system and a number of mental illnesses.

In particular I remmeber a period of time when she would suffer some kind of very strange sickness. It caused me some considerable distress as a child and it would be gratifying to know what exactly she suffered with, for the sake of closure and my own curiosity.

She would be doing perfectly normal activities, then suddenly collapse, unconcious, and regually appeared to wake up momentarily before hitting the ground; where she would hit her head on impact and subsequently fall unconcious again. She would remain unconcious for a few minutes, or sometimes instantly, would go into a violent fit. When the fit stopped, she would soon regain conciousness and exhibited a very strange mental state, possibly some kind of dementia? She would display a child-like mentality, voice, language and behaviour – such as skipping or crawling on hands and knees, and would say things that were based on extracts of her life, including her abusive childhood where she was physically, emotionally and apparently sexually abused by her biological father, an alchoholic. However she would also use other memories such as household pets from when she was 35, long after the memories displayed from her childhood. She would never remmeber who I was, sometimes imagining me to be her older brother – my uncle, and seemed to live in a fantasy world based on these surreal memories. When I tried to console her and tell her it wasn’t real, she would become almost violently distressed and anxious.

She would continue like this for between 10 minutes and six hours, eventually collapsing again, having another fit, and then waking up perfectly normal, with no reccolection of her previous state. For some reason, neither she or her partner, my step-dad to be, would seek medical help or tell me what was going on, if they even knew themselves. She had these illnesses for a period of four months, during a time of personal adversity to me so that I remain traumatised and confused by those events.

My mother suffers from a number of mental health issues, including manic depression, some kind of emotional defect possibly related to Wilson’s, and perhaps most devastating of all a compulsive lying disorder, the latter which she was never diagnosed or treated for, but appears evident in hindsight now Im older, an opinion also shared by her family members. Her partner at the time was also, according to her, abusive and apparently altered her medication, although as she is a compulsive liar this would easily be false, especially as her partner was unemployed and very poorly educated. She also told me she was on 1,000 pills per month, which I can testify to as I sometimes helped her sort her medication.

I’ve tried to search the symptoms on the internet, and it is possibly some kind of epilepsy? I really need to know the exact illness, just so I can convince myself it wasn’t all some kind of act put on by her.

Any kind of information you can give me would provide me with a lot of closure, and would have my eternal gratitude.

Thanks, Tom.
Now Aged 16.

A: I think only a doctor could answer your question. I’ll venture a guess and say it sounds like some sort of psychosis from her untreated mental illnesses.

Q: i just found out my mom has cancer and i dont know what to do im scared please help!?
she told me like last week and she told me crying i didnt know how to react to it…it my mom this cant be happening to her. my mom doesnt know wat a childhood is, she relly doesnt…she was sexually molested at the age of 7 or 8…got pregnant and married at the age of 14 had two more kids with her abusive husband…he beat her raped her ignoring the fact that shes a pregnant woman…she worked hard to earn money to give us (me and my two sisters) a life she couldt have…with no help what so ever from my dad…he was a drunk illegal immagrant that got his papers thanks to my mom…he thought the world had to revolve around him…he took us away from her by making up so many lies in court…we were just little my older sister was just 7…she was scared of him in court and didnt speak up to fight for us..its too long of a story from there but living with my dad was like being in prisonhe gave us food a good home and everything and i thank him for that but he never let us go visit my mom, she couldnt visit us, we couldnt even go to my grandmothers house to meet up with her there secretly…and if we did talk to her on the phone it would be for a short time because he would come up with the excuse that he had to use the fone…years passed and my sisters fear my dad good thing im not a quiet person because the last time i was living at his house i told him everything that had to be said…he beat me…but i fought back with all the anger i had for so many years, after that he kicked me out…by the way i was 16 at the time…at almost 1 in the morning december 2006…i now live with my mom and i felt that when i moved in with her i brought back some light into her world..i was with her 24/7 everywhere we got really close…but her problems just kept building up..to this day…and im going to be 18 next month…after she told me she had cancer i didnt cry…i want to be stong for her because no one else is there…my mom cant express to me any more clear than it already is that i am her backbone…she keeps moving because she thinks about me…right after she finds out that she has cancer
she finds out that her b/f is cheating on her..they were on and off for 9 maybe 10 years…i know she loves him because they always get back together. im not stupid i suspected he was cheating o her for a while now…but thats their personal issue…i dont like to get into their relationship…but now that hes gone my mom not only has emotioal/ depression problems but now she has financial problems, me and my b/f are the only ones that work..shes disabled so she cant work…her b/f was the one that took care of the rent with her me and my b/f took care of the bills that we could hardly manage and now that means i have to put in more money for the rent…money i dont have!!! she so depressed with all these problems but she has ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS been depressed…and i understand her, but she thinks alchohol is goin to solve her problems and its not…i tell her i dont like her drinking because she is bipolar and that mixed with liquor
just makes her dangerouse…i tell her to go to councelling i’ll go with you but she’s hard headed…”oh i forgot”…or “im going to stop drinkin…” yea sure i’ve heard that one before..i love my mom so much and i dont want to lose her all these problems she had in her life made her the way she is because she was never like this when we lived with her as liitle girls she worked left us with my grandmother, came bak cooked, did all the motherly stuff, she didnt drink or anything like that. now look at her shes only 34 almost 35 and i think that her depression has gotten worse to the point that i feel like the knives in my house need to be hidden..my mom confessed to me me that shes scared of herself and i try to help but she doesnt let anybody help her…i dont kno if she thinks this is a game or what but i need someone to please help me help her. i know it wasnt necessary to write all that personal information but i need someone to atleast know what she went through to understand how she got to the point where she is now….thanks for reading this long “essay”….but someone please help me give me advice what should i do…i feel like i all alone in this. my little sister is living with m dad and no..i cant see her either..he hasnt changed…sometimes shes scared to answer her fone b/c he’ll be near her…im her sister!!!!! and my older sister is a freshman in college…she started yesterday and neithe of them kno what s going on in my moms life! im going to tell them today, but what can they do? myolder sister is almost 20 and she still askes my dad for permission for everything, my dads not going to care if she has cancer..he’s a strict unreasonable “man” …i cant keep living this lifebeing worried all the time for my mom when i heve my own problems to deal with but im going to do whatever it takes.

A: What can you do?
1)Listen, Hug, Help, Cry and Laugh
2)Support her through her problems
3)Tell her how you feel-the cancer is enough to handle, Drinking, bad relationships and her past need to take a backseat. She can’t consider this piling on to her problems. She has no choice than to deal with the cancer. She has a choice about drinking and relationships.

What can’t you do

Solve any of her problems. Don’t try.

Q: Is the Government the reason we have so many Lazy Helpless people in society?
If you are opver 35 I think at some point you remember your parents, grandparents saying *When I was your age I walked 7 miles in the snow to get to school..(There reason why you should walk a mile in the rain) anyways the USA use to value work, hard work in people, I know we have every gadget known to man, that makes hard work a thing of the past, but what message are we sending to everyone?

Kids no longer have any chores, let alone getting a after school job, people are obese because they don’t get off there rumps, granted we have computers that keeps us sitting, but when you get up MOVE and do something that really involves some work, maybe then we can send a message that the USA values people who work hard, that is what will prevent depression, sickness and having a pity party for yourself,

If you cannot find a job maybe you cut the grass or learn how to sew. .
Why are people so lazy???

A: Because the laziest and most cowardly people this country has ever seen are now controlling the government. We used to honor excellence and greatness. Now we tell our kids to play nice and that they don’t have to try so hard. We raise our kids to believe that there will always be someone there to pick up after them and wipe their tears. Our children are taught to believe anything that comes from TV or their teachers is true. Never questioning what they’re told, Never working for themselves. They just don’t have to try any longer. It’s sad, but the days of our country’s greatness are coming to an end.

Q: how can i be close to my own father when he done such terrible things?
My dad has struggled to get me to be close to him for years, ever since i was real little, i’m fifteen
now, mom was pregnant with me around the age of 18, unexpectedly. my parents divorced 13 years ago. I live with my mom she helps me get through A lot of disasters in my life. My dad for one… i love him, no doubt in my mind but its hard for me to bond with him.
When i was little i remember him beating my mom in the face, she has a chipped tooth that still reminds me of it.
I tried to forget this, but finally i told my mom about a year ago about what i remembered. She finally broke down and told me that she was beat, and scared of my dad. He would make up stories and a call my grandmother (moms mom) to tell her that my mom was doing pot. He would check on her constantly at work. & if she even glanced at another person even the cashier at the grocery store, he made a scene. and blame her for being attracted to him. and he would build up in his mind that she was cheating. and he would cheat on her.
although my dad has never laid a hand on me,
and currently my dad is married to my stepmother shes 22.. a lot of things that
went on when my dad and my mother was married, is a lot like what shes going through. i have not seen him beat her he plays with her mind. and i see it but she doesn’t understand.
about a year ago, i was about through with taking care of my dad i didn’t even wanna come down.
and my stepmom was having issues with him at home. they got into an arguement about my dad checking on her at work.
late that afternoon i got a call from my stepmom crying and so afraid. she couldnt even tell me what was going on so she handed the phone to samatha (her friend) she said, “your dad is in the hospital
apprently he took an over dose, 150 pills trying to commit succide. He passed out in the emergency room cold dead. “
so me and mom and my aunt jumped in the car, & we live about 2 hours from my dad.
so at that point i was sure my dad succeded at killing him own self. I cried the whole way there my aunt drove my mom sat in the back seat trying to be supportive like she always has.
when we got there i saw my dad all plugged upp to moniters and tubes everywhere. he cloths all over the floor from cpr. I stood by his side for days. and when he could talk he told me his plan, was to take the pills drive to tonys take cards and money to tony & drive somewhere to die in his car tony didnt let him instead of letting him go through with it and rushed him to the hospital.
i thank tony for what he did i love my dad very much although we have un solved issues.
i was talkiing to a council a while after that.
doctors blamed it on the depression meds he was taking.
now my dad “guilt trips” me all the time. hes 35 and im 15.
i feel like im taking care of a child. i have to make him happy constantly or
he’ll make it hell for me and my stepmother.
my dad and my stepmoms relationship is at the point where
i’m not sure they will be together much longer.
my dad blames me for their relationship not working.
i can’t ever make him happy. i don’t know what i should do, any advice would be great!
thankyou.

A: I am sorry you have such a father .He is abusive ,he may not hit you but guilt tripping you is abuse ,making you feel like you have to make him happy and take care of him is abuse .He will not change ,people like him never do .The best thing you can do for your self is to slowly get on with your life away from him .Just be too busy to see him .And talk to people who know what abuse is .When he makes you feel guilty remind your self that this is abuse .Even the suicide is abuse ,both to himself and to you and his wife .It is manipulation of the cruelest kind .I know all this because my mother is like your dad .I am 45 and she is still manipulating and abusing me .I have just had to write a letter saying I do not want to talk to her any more .It is painful but she is never going to stop and I have to draw a line .If I knew what I do now when I was your age I would have just walked off ,got a job and a life and not bothered with her .

Q: Life choice help urgently needed?
Please help, I’m very confused as to what is the best way forward in my life.

To give you a bit of background, I’m 35, live in the Channel Islands, Great Britain and have worked as a hospital administrator for 10 years. Before that, I had a nervous breakdown for want of better words. I had dropped out of university, got diagnosed with bipolar depression and the job started as simple clerical tasks as a therapeutic way of bringing me out of my depression. I did well at the job and soon moved up the ranks and 10 years on I’m still there! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a stable, well paid job but I’ve always felt as if I am ‘better’ than an admin person and need to get a career. I’ve got a teaching English as a foreign language qualification and have been teaching in my spare time and am almost finished a modern languages degree by correspondance.

Meanwhile, I met someone 2 years ago through work, we’ve since bought a house together and got engaged. He’s the love of my life! I’m 35 and my mother started her menopause at age 40. I’m worried that if we don’t have a baby soon it will be too late. I also need to come off my lithium for at least 6 months before conceiving which will be very stressful too.

So, my quandary comes because I’ve been ‘head hunted’ for a job which will incorporate my teaching skills and academic abilities by working as a ‘mentor’ in a careers service. The job is only a 6 month contract though and my current contract is permanent.

Which order should I do things in? Stick with the well paid but boring job I’m in now, make full use of the maternity leave it offers and have a baby and forget about the career….

……or, grab this chance at doing something I’ve been wanting to do for a long, long time and risk losing time to have a baby, risk losing money if my contract isn’t renewed after the 6 months. Where would that leave us as a couple? I wouldn’t be earning money to pay my share of the mortgage.

To be honest, I can’t work out which option is best for me and need your help.

Thank you

A: kk try it

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